Finding Balance in Difficult Times- A Path To the Center

Yesterday I slept 12 hours. It turns out- all the colds going around my son’s school are seeping their way into our household. Feeling somewhat “off” balance was a reminder to me how good it feels to feel “in” balance. But also reminded me as well how we tend to prioritize “being in balance” in our society- which doesn’t make room for us getting out of balance in the first place.

As a wise teacher/friend recently shared with me through a beautiful story depiction of a childhood seesaw experience- finding balance is a process and doesn’t always mean one side is the right path- including needing to be IN BALANCE!

Whether this means our own mental or physical health- finding balance is indeed a process. And falling out of balance is part of this process as well.

We are often leaning in one direction or another as we move through life- adding to our own seesaw experience. And one side of the pendulum often affects the other.

Even now, we can sense our own state of balance by attuning to our open nostrils- the right nostril correlating with the more masculine/active/yang aspect of ourselves, and the left- the more feminine/receptive greater aspect of ourselves. Which side for you right now feels more open/closed?

We can also use our own breathing to tune in- notice how your inhale and exhale offers a beautiful reference point for how you’re feeling right now. Does your inhale feel open, vast, spacious, relaxed with the body soft enough to receive your open breath? Or is there tightness, constriction, resistance to the flow?

And what about your exhale? As your breath moves out of the body- can you notice a deep relationship to gravity and notice a soft, quick release or are you holding on- tightening, controlling this one precious breath letting go?

We can apply this same inquiry to our walking steps- are you leading more with your right foot or left foot today? Or- our inner state- are you feeling more uplifted or low energy? We could go on and on... We are filled with many ways to feel/sense which way we’re “leaning”- left, right or CENTER.

But the key here is not about finding an either/or good/bad trajectory with any of these attunement practices, rather to sense and WIDEN YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE to a broader view of understanding what BALANCE really means to you.

The truth is the balance point is often not either side of the coin- with one way being entirely “better” than another, but instead to find a broader awareness of the balance point in the CENTER that makes room for ALL experiences.

This inquiry extends to our daily, even moment to moment, living and shifting from side to side (sometimes big shift, sometimes small) UNTIL we can broaden our view to include ALL ASPECTS of ourselves and find the center.

At the center of the seesaw, as this beautiful wide teacher/friend shared, is the FULCRUM. Which is defined as- “the point on which a lever rests or is supported and on which it pivots/a thing that plays a central or essential role in an activity, event, or situation.” At the CENTER you see- the fulcrum IS the support.

When we can stand in the middle of this spot we get to control how far we swing in either direction. Rather than one side or another BEING the “right way”. The balance point becomes are ability to occupy our own center. It is this balance point where all “parts” are welcomed equally. Where life can BE the light AND the dark, the cold AND the hot, the open breath AND the closed breath- THE YIN/YANG.

I love the analogy of this that Sharon Salzberg, mindfulness meditation teacher often refers to in her teachings- meditation is not about having a quiet mind, it’s about building resilience in each moment when our thoughts carry us away and we notice we left ourselves and then choose to come back. It’s actually in the building of the muscle of RETURNING to center that gives us the most bang for our buck for lasting peace.

A real life experience put this into view for me many years ago. Much to the contrary education I had received about not helping a butterfly out of the cocoon if they are stuck- I came upon a gorgeous monarch butterfly- very visibly unable to fully get its last wing out of the cocoon.

It was difficult to watch- and again- with the most delicateness I could, (thinking I was being of service) I used a tool to gently pull the last bit of cocoon away from the wing.

Well- if you’ve heard this analogy before- you’ll know- I did not help this butterfly in the least. In fact, butterflies actually build resilience from their struggle. It IS the struggle of getting out of the cocoon- even when they’re stuck, that helps improve wing formation and mobility so they have strength enough to fly!

And so it is when WE fall out of balance. These moments are not meant for us to fall into shame or inner criticism- in fact, we fall out of balance so that we may make our way into center. And the CENTER is where ALL aspects of our lives are welcome- the good days, the bad days, our radiant health, and my body fighting a cold- the balance of the feminine/masculine aspects of ourselves! The center is the “Zen” place- the wide open arms of love, it is the wisdom self- welcoming and wise- the FULCRUM IS the SUPPORT and the resting place by which all movement can happen.

This teaching can be applied to our own daily life as well as our global life as well. If/when we get stuck in seeing the atrocities of the world, and feel so strongly that we won’t get our way out, we lose our momentum into finding actual real solutions to change. We must broaden our field to the center to include these swings SO WE can then rise up and shift the balance point from black or white into CENTER in ourselves to find wholeness.

This does not condone poor behavior when we or others swing radically out of balance to one side OR ANOTHER, but a REMINDER that from the CENTER we can find our STRENGTH to level things out. AND- from this place of empowerment we can feel strong enough to create change within ourselves to bring BALANCE into this world. When we can acknowledge and see how far out of balance we can get- we can instead rise up and find our way back to CENTER.

And so- as I find my own personal way to come into center today- I find myself moving at a slower more mindful pace with the tender care colds can often bring to us- including making some chicken soup which I’m very much looking forward to. And- as feeling out of balance can feel isolating and depleting, I also provided some immune boosting tips in today’s newsletter- just in case you needed some extra support finding your middle way today. Enjoy! S